15 years to life

  15 YEARS TO LIFE

  Copyright © 2015 Regina Bartley

  All rights reserved

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity between actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any uses of locales, or events are used fictitiously.

  Cover photo by: Brooklyn Photography

  Cover Model: Preston David Perry III

  Cover Design: LM Creations

  Formatted by: Ready, Set, Edit

  More books by Author Regina Bartley:

  The Rosen Brothers Series

  Klay

  A home for Caroline

  Kory

  Unbroken Series

  Escaping Heartbreak

  Causing Heartbreak

  The Graysen Pack Series

  Chased

  Challenged

  Standalones

  Moonshine

  Dirty Nails

  Dedicated to my brother.

  I love you, Bubba!

  Chapter One - Present

  Have you ever spent eleven years wearing the exact same clothes? How about eating the exact same meals, or doing the exact same countless activities?

  Every

  Single

  Day…

  Of course you haven’t. People with freedom can choose to wear anything they want. They can eat when they want. Hell, they can even take a dump when they want.

  Not me, at least not until after 9:00 a.m. today, when I become a free man.

  I wiped away the single tear that slid down my face, and let my arm fall tight against my eyes. Real men didn’t cry. That’s what I was told. Sometimes it was hard not to.

  This couldn’t be real.

  This day was finally here.

  For almost twelve years I’d been waiting for this day to come, and now that it was here I felt overwhelmed. Every time I took a breath it felt heavy enough to choke me.

  With two wide strides across the cement floor, I was at my door. I slammed my palm against it several times hoping a guard would come help me. The loud noise was amplified inside my 6x8 cell.

  “What is it?” The man on the other side of the door asked. I knew which guard it was by the tone of his voice.

  “I need to see the doctor today.” My words came out breathless and strangled.

  “You’re leaving in a couple of hours.” He grunted with obvious frustration. He didn’t want to waste his time with me. Like he said, in a few hours I’d be out, and I’d be one less face he’d have to deal with.

  I couldn’t wait though. My heart was pounding like a sledgehammer in my chest. Each beat rang louder inside my ears.

  “Please,” I pleaded. “It’s important.”

  I could feel the panic start to set in and I pounded my fist against the side of my thigh as hard as I could. Usually it would help, but not today. It was too much. The whole situation was too damn much.

  “Please.”

  “I’ll ask, but no promises.” The guard said just before he slammed the sliding door closed and barricaded me back inside my hole.

  I slid my back down the length of the wall to the floor, and sat there in the corner. It was these times that made me happy that I no longer had a roommate. There was no one there to see me have a mental breakdown.

  Once an inmate was given a leave date, they were moved to isolation cells for their safety. I didn’t need to be protected. I was a 6’4”, 270-pound beast that could scare away nearly any grown man. Good thing they couldn’t see me now. Inside those cement walls I was crumbling.

  All I could think about was my sister –my rock, and the only reason I gave two shits at all. If it weren’t for her than I’d tell them to leave my ass here and throw away the key.

  Even though I saw my sister often and she was fully grown now, I still pictured her as that young little girl from all those years ago. The girl I protected. She was so innocent.

  I tried passing the nerve itching moments with good thoughts of her. She’d be waiting outside the gate to take me home today. Knowing that, made such a difference. I’d be able to hug her, and spend every second with her if I wanted to.

  A loud bang and the sliding of the door caused me to jump.

  “McCrary, the doctor agreed to see you. Let’s go.”

  I placed my wrists through the open slot in the door and waited for them to fasten the cuffs on me. They were always too tight, and made any kind of movement impossible.

  Sixty-one steps later and I was sitting in her office.

  “What’s going on with you Brian?” She asked. Her stethoscope was pressed against my chest. Surely she knew. My heart was still beating at a rapid pace.

  “I’m freaking out. My anxiety is working double time today. I need something to make it chill out.”

  “Did you get your medicine this morning?”

  “I did, but it’s not working?”

  “Take a deep breath for me.”

  I did what she asked several times as she listened closely.

  “Listen to me.” She commanded “I know that today is crazy for you. Not everyone handles this day well. It’s not easy.” Her kind eyes were relaxing me. “I’m going to issue you another pill to take, but I need you to do something for me.”

  “What? Anything.” I was desperate.

  “You’ve got to start doing the exercises that I taught you. The deep breathing and focus really helps. I also want you to search for someone in your area to talk to as often as you can once you get out.”

  I fought to keep from rolling my eyes at her. We both knew that I couldn’t afford to seek medical advice once I left this place. She was my doctor, simple as that.

  “Okay,” I told her, just so that I could get my medication. No way in Hell I’d be seeing some fancy ass head doctor who didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.

  “Good.” She patted my knee. “I better not see you ever again. You hear me?”

  I nodded but I couldn’t make any promises, at least not ones that I wasn’t sure if I could keep.

  The guards took me away, but not before I swallowed another pill and prayed it would work immediately. I couldn’t have my sister seeing me like this. This was supposed to be a good day, a memorable day.

  Chapter Two – Present

  I saw her standing by a car just beyond the fence and it took everything in my power not to run to her. There were too many guards with high-powered rifles in the distance, and they were all pointed in my direction. It’d be just my luck that I’d get blown to bits on my release date.

  I sucked in a deep breath and it had never felt more amazing. The rays of sun felt warm against my face. It was a beautiful day. It even smelled good. It was the smell of freedom.

  The old man who walked me out, patted my back and wished me luck just as I stepped through the gates. I was now an independent man.

  “Bubba!” Blaine yelled.

  She never called me Brian.

  “Blaine,” I scooped my sister up into my arms and lifted her off the ground. I felt her body shake as she tucked her head into my neck and cried. It broke my heart. I didn’t want her crying for me. This was supposed to be a happy day.

  “We’re together now. No more tears.” I held her.

  Truthfully, if I hadn’t had that second pill, I’d probably be crying right along with her.

  She wiped her eyes as I sat her back on her feet. I hadn’t realized how tiny she was. You would never know that the two of us were twins.

  “Let me look at you,” I said as I twirled her around.

  “I haven’t changed in the last six months you know?”

  But she had. She changed every time I saw her. Sh
e was such a beautiful girl. She was so much different than me. Her eyes were brighter, her hair was long and dark, and she was so little. We were complete opposites as far as looks. As far as personality, we’d have to wait and see. We hadn’t lived under the same roof since we were eleven. Many things had changed since then.

  “They couldn’t give you any clothes?” She asked.

  I peered down at the orange suit I was still wearing. I looked like I just stepped out of a crayon box. You couldn’t miss me for miles, and orange was my least favorite color. It was going to be a nice change for me to wear something different. I couldn’t wait.

  I held the brown bag in front of her face. “They gave me the clothes that I went in with, but I’ve grown quite a bit since I was eleven.” I smirked.

  She smiled. “Good thing I came prepared.” She reached into the back of the car and pulled out a bag. “These should fit.”

  “How do you know what size clothes I wear?”

  “I told the salesman that I needed a size Gorilla.” She giggled.

  “Hey now.”

  “Come on. Get in. Let’s get out of here.”

  I didn’t object. I wanted to put as many miles between this place and us as I could.

  I climbed inside her tiny little car and looked around. Everything reminded me of her. It was so girly and cute. Way too small for me. There were pink dice hanging from the mirror, and a pair of bright green sunglasses up on the dash. It even smelled girly. My knees were up to my chest and my big head was pressed against the ceiling. My first thought was that this car had to be half the price of a real one. Surely that didn’t sell mini cars. It was matchbox sized. I could barely move, but I could hear Blaine laughing her ass off at me.

  Click.

  Click.

  Click.

  “Are you taking my picture? Wait, is that a phone?”

  “Yep, and I couldn’t resist.” She turned the phone around so that I could see.

  “Holy shit.” I snatched it up and stared at the screen. It was me, looking like a sardine. “That is fucking awesome.”

  Her smile lit up her whole face. Hell, it lit up mine.

  “I have so much to show you, but first use those levers on the side of the seat to make yourself more comfortable. You can’t ride all the way home cramped up like that. Even though you look so funny.”

  With a couple of swift movements I was settled. I may have been partially in the backseat, but I was comfortable. I started to take off the orange suit so that I could change.

  “Good God Bubba! Put your damn clothes back on, and I’ll take you to a bathroom.”

  “Just keep your eyes in front of you. It won’t take me but a second.” I wasn’t wearing those clothes for another minute if I didn’t have to. The less attention I received, the better.

  “If I see something I’m not supposed to, I’ll be scarred for life.”

  I scoffed. “I’m not gonna whip it out.”

  I thought the car was small before. You should have seen me trying to change. I was all elbows and knees. It took me a couple of grunts and some fancy maneuvering, but I got it.

  “Done.”

  She shook her head at me. “Next time give a girl a warning.”

  I just smiled at her.

  “You want to go straight home or should we stop and get something to eat?” She asked.

  “You’re not serious. I’m a growing boy.”

  “Right. Geez, what was I thinking?” Her sarcasm was thick.

  Four drive-thru’s later and we were finally home. At least that’s what she called it. It was a small white house with a dark blue door and matching shutters. It was almost an exact replica of the house to the left and the one on the right.

  “Come on bubba. I want to show you around.” She was so excited, which made me excited. I loved seeing her happy. It had been far too long.

  I followed her up the small walkway that was mostly taken over by weeds.

  “Watch your step. That first board is a little wobbly.” She said.

  Looking around I could tell that it wasn’t the only thing that needed fixing. The paint was peeling off around the door, and the tall weeds around the porch needed trimming. Even the gutter that hung off the edge of the house needed some love. It was barely hanging on. One good storm, and it’d probably blow right off.

  Wiggling her key in the door, she opened it and I followed her in. We walked straight into a living room with a small couch, a chair, and a big ass T.V. sitting on a wooden stand. The room was small but it felt homey. It wasn’t overly crowded or cluttered up.

  I noticed that there were a few books on the shelf under the T.V. and I made a mental note to check those out later. I loved to read.

  “This is the living room.” She waved her arm around. “Through here,” she pointed at a doorframe, “is the kitchen.”

  Wow.

  Talk about a proud moment. She was doing really well for herself. It wasn’t fancy, or expensive, but Blaine made it a home. There were curtains, and rugs, and all kinds of high-tech gadgets that I would probably never know how to use.

  Staring into the kitchen felt weird, because everything seemed so foreign to me. I never spent much time in the kitchen as a child, and twelve years behind bars didn’t domesticate me at all. Yes, I said domesticate. One thing I did while I was locked away, was educate myself. I did it as much, and as often as possible. There were too many horror stories of men on the inside, not to mention I had tons of free time. I wasn’t going to waste it all away.

  “Behind that door is the washer and dryer, and I hate laundry so you are gonna learn to do your own.”

  “Yes ma’am.” I laughed.

  “Come on.” She grabbed my hand. “I want to show you your room.” She tugged me down the hall. “That’s my room over there,” she pointed to the right, but she didn’t give me a chance to look inside hers. “And this ones yours.”

  She opened the door to a big bedroom. I never expected it to be so big. The walls were white. There was a bed big enough for two people, and a tall wooden dresser with a small T.V. on top.

  “This is too much. How do you afford all of this?” I asked.

  “I rent this place from my boss. The bar and grill that I work at is a busy place and I make great tips. Besides that, I’ve known you’d be coming home for a while. I’ve had time to prepare.” Her sweetness took me by surprise. She’d obviously been planning my homecoming for a long time.

  “I plan on getting a job Blaine, and I can fix anything around here. Including the porch.”

  Her lips curled up into a smile. “I know that. I’m not worried. Things will only get better from here.”

  “You sound so sure?”

  “That’s because I am. Now… There are some clothes and shoes in the closet. It’s not much, but it’ll work for now. The bathroom is down the hall, and has everything you need.”

  “What are you trying to say little sister?” I lifted up my arm and started fanning my pit it in her face. I’m sure it didn’t smell too great.

  She plugged her nose and took off running. “Towels are in the closet, stinky ass.”

  I laughed as she ran down the hall.

  A hot shower sounded really damn good.

  Chapter Three- Past

  It was our tenth birthday and Blaine was so excited. We had invited our friends from school over to play and eat cupcakes that our Grandma had made for us. It was our first birthday since the cancer had taken our mother. We missed her a lot. We were sad that she was gone, but knew that she was in a better place.

  Too bad she didn’t take us with her.

  Instead we were left behind with our father, the meanest man in the world.

  He should have been in the backyard celebrating with us, but he decided that closing himself up in the garage would be better. No communication with the outside world. That’s the way he liked it. He had no need to come out since Grandma was there. They didn’t get along too well. He didn’t get along with anyone
. He stayed away. Maybe he was ashamed of us, or maybe he was just too sad, either way he didn’t make any effort to care. Not about us anyway.

  The few kids that we invited from school showed up right on time. We played for hours. It was the most fun that Blaine and I had in a long time. We shared that special birthday together, and would later find out that it would be the last one we would have together for many years to come.

  Chapter Four- Present

  That was the best fucking shower of my life. I stayed under the spray so long that the water turned cold. I nearly froze my balls off, but it was worth it. For once, I felt clean.

  As I was slipping on my boxer shorts, which were a size baby gorilla –two sizes too small, I heard giggling from close by. One of those giggles I recognized, but the other was new. My radar was going off. One female laugh made the bells and whistles in my head become crazy sons of bitches.

  I didn’t even bother putting on my shirt, or drying the rest of the way off. I swung open the door and trudged down the hall, stopping in front of Blaine’s door.

  My eyes went wide when I spotted the back of a girl. It was literally her back, her bare back.

  I faked up a cough to get their attention and the girl turned around quickly. Her shirt was still caught above her head and over her face.

  Suddenly I wished I had put on some shorts over these tiny boxers. Not for my sake, but the sake of my sister.

  The boobs of that faceless girl were pointed straight at me. Holy hell it was hot. That was the first time in my life that I’d been that close to real boobs. It was a thousand times better than I imagined it would be. My body shuttered and my dick was throbbing so bad that my shorts were jumping.

  “Bubba! What the hell?” Blaine jumped off the bed.