Escaping Heartbreak Page 12

  I left my dirty clothes on the floor and turned off the light. “Let’s go,” I reached for and took the keys off of the coffee table. “Why are you just sitting around like we have no place to be.” The sarcasm in my voice was thick.

  He rolled his eyes. “Seriously, you’re the one that took three hours picking out a shirt to impress Travis.” He jumped up from the couch. I had no words to come back at him with. The asshole was right. And dammit he got the last word.

  “Shut your trap and let’s go, before I change my mind.” I grumbled and let the front door slam in his face when I walked out of it. I wished that it would have broken his nose, but I’d never get that lucky.

  ###

  Shots was crowded. It wasn’t my choice to go there. Basically, Dane said he wanted to so I agreed to drive. Technically I wouldn’t turn twenty-one for another week, so I wasn’t even supposed to be there.

  I looked around the bar for Travis, but didn’t see him anywhere. The bar was not the best place to talk to him. It was noisy and there was no way to avoid it. I stayed close behind Dane and followed him to the bar. He offered me the free stool while he stood there waiting to order a drink. For such a measly hole in the wall, I was surprised at how packed this place was. I had never been inside, but Shot’s was the happening place in town. Probably because there wasn’t another bar for twenty miles. Dane reached across the dirty bar with a twenty in his hand. He was in luck since there was a chick behind the bar. She spotted him almost immediately. There would be a lot of pissed off customers since she went straight to Dane and took his order. The boy liked to use his good looks for the greater good, and for fast drinks at the bar. I rolled my eyes.

  The music was loud enough that you would think there was a live band, but it was only one man in the back of the bar on a small stage. He sat behind a computer pushing buttons. People were all over the dance floor. It was awfully early in the evening for this place to be so packed. Or at least that’s what one would have thought.

  I was deep in thought when a pair of hands slipped over my eyes. I nearly jumped out of my seat. My feet couldn’t hit the floor fast enough. I turned abruptly to find Travis standing there. The shirt he wore clung tight to his chest and dark washed jeans hung low on his hips. He was a sight for sore eyes. His grin was big when my eyes finally made it to his face. I was caught once again checking out the goods. A girl can’t help herself when it’s laid out like a buffet.

  When my eyes landed on his, he winked.

  Damn you Lawson.

  He scooted closer to me and leaned to speak to me. His breath tickled my ear as the words left his lips. “Beautiful,” was the only word I could understand.

  “Huh?” I yelled back.

  He reached under my arm and snaked his arm around my back. Quickly, he pulled me to him in one swift movement. All coherent thoughts were gone. Our bodies were close enough that without clothes on, I’d be moments away from an orgasm. Yeah, we were that close. “What I said was, you look beautiful. But I knew you would. You always do.”

  I took a deep breath, “thank you.” Now or never. “Can we talk?”

  “I’m listening,” his face was serious.

  “Not here,” I motioned around the bar. “Can we go someplace a bit quieter?’

  “Well yeah,” he grabbed my hand. “Do you mind if I get a drink first?” I shook my head no. He took my hand and pulled me up to the bar. He stood behind me with both arms on either side of me. His hands rested firmly on the bar. Dane shot us a look, rolled his eyes, and walked away shaking his head. I pretended not to notice. I was too affected by Travis’s arms boldly surrounding me. He so easily flaunted his attraction to me. He didn’t care who knew it, or how it shook me. His feelings were made perfectly clear, and he was not hiding it.

  Purposely, I backed up slowly so that my backside was touching his front.

  His breath was warm on my neck when he leaned in close. “What are you doing to me, woman.”

  Turning my head towards him, I whispered our lips nearly touching. I let my ass lightly brush his erection that was firm against his jeans. “From what I can feel, I am turning you on.”

  His face was stone, and his eyes were filled with lust. “Fuck the drink,” he said fiercely. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me through the crowd with such strength I could barely keep up. He knew exactly where he was going. He led me down a dark hallway in the back of the bar. We burst through the back door, and he pulled me outside. I looked around. It was mostly dark besides a small gleam coming from the distant streetlight.

  Like a predator, he backed me up against the wall. “What’s going on Sawyer? I thought you just wanted to be friends. You always push me away.” I could see his shirt rise and fall with his deep breaths.

  “I changed my mind. I want to be with you Travis.” I thought the words would be harder to say, but I was wrong. I’d never wanted anything more than to be with this man. His hand caressed my face all the way down the curve of my neck.

  “You have to go slow with me Travis. It still hurts here,” I pointed to my chest.

  He pressed his lips against mine, and it lit some kind of fire inside me. I was feeling brave and I wanted him to know it. I wound my fingers in the loops of his jeans and pulled him to me, as close as I could get him.

  He broke the kiss. “How slow Sawyer? Can I kiss you?” He pressed his lips gently to mine causing me to shiver.

  “Mm hmm,” I mumbled into his soft lips.

  “Can I touch you here?” His fingertips traced the top of my shirt over the swell of my breast. I sucked in a deep breath, and I shuttered under his touch.

  I nodded. It was all I could do.

  “How about here?” His eyes never left mine, and his fingers touched the already sensitive spot between my legs.

  I shook my head yes. So he rubbed his fingers slowly over my throbbing clit. My panties were soaked under my jeans.

  A soft moan escaped my lips.

  I swear, I heard him growl.

  “I want you Travis. Now,” I begged. My voice was husky and full of need. Fuck slow. I wanted this man then and there.

  “Oh baby, I want you too.” I was near a climax, and he was only touching me over my jeans. Dear God, what this man could do to me.

  He picked me up swiftly and I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. “Where’s your truck?”

  “Parked on the side,” was my winded response.

  He kissed my jaw, and I felt his tongue lick the sensitive spot behind my ear. I couldn’t take it. I was about to explode in his arms. The way that he made me feel wasn’t anything like I had ever felt with anyone else. It was real. It was electric. My senses were on fire, every time he touched me.

  He dug the keys from my back pocket and unlocked my truck. We slid in the passenger seat, my hips straddled his.

  “Is this too fast?” He looked at me with concern in his eyes.

  “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” I grabbed the hair on his head and gently pulled it so that his neck was exposed. I kissed him inch by inch. I had wanted him for so long. It didn’t seem real. I ran my tongue along the curve of his neck and felt him tremble beneath me.

  “God Sawyer. I want you. I want every part of you.”

  “Then what are you waiting for?” I asked.

  “We can’t do this here.” He stated matter-of-factly.

  What was he saying? He had just said that he wanted me. What did I do to change his mind? I was second guessing myself, and started to freak out a bit.

  “Hey, stop it,” he pulled my face to his. “I see what you’re doing and this, me stopping, is not about you. Well it is,” he smirked. “But you are perfect. More perfect than I deserve, and I can’t sleep with you in this truck. I want our first time to be more special than this.” His words were sweet and they tugged on that little broken piece of my heart. The one that had always belonged to him.

  I looked deep into his eyes, to that little boy that I loved a long time ago. He may not still b
e there, but my love is. I kissed him deeply. “Thank you. I think,” I bit down hard on my bottom lip. “Is this what blue balls feels like?” I huffed. I was trying to lighten the mood and keep away the tears from his sweet words.

  “Yes it is, baby. I love seeing you like this. The way you react when I touch you, its fucking hot. Let me take care of you. Please,” he pleaded, as if he had to beg. I’d never had an orgasm from anyone but myself. The idiot that took my virginity, just took it. It lasted five minutes. It was painful and unpleasant. I knew that with Travis it would be different. Hell, I nearly came apart and he had barely touched me. He could probably blow on me and it would push me over the edge. Just because it was Travis.

  “Take off your pants.” He demanded. I folded over into the crook of his neck laughing. “What’s so funny?” He was laughing too, even though he didn’t know what for.

  “How come every time we are together, I end up taking off my clothes?” I asked.

  “The first time was not my fault. I didn’t know it was your bed, and I wasn’t expecting to see you, much less in your bra.”

  “Hey I didn’t think there would be some sexy guy, half naked in my bed.”

  “You think I’m sexy.” His fingers twisted in my hair.

  “Shut up,” I playfully smacked his arm. “You know you are.”

  His face went serious again.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” he whispered. “For the first time in a long time.”

  He kissed me again, slowly at first. Then it was deep and sexy. He was the best kisser ever, not that I’d had much practice. His hands tugged at the button on my pants and then I felt the zipper slowly slide down. I raised up on my knees, still straddling him. Never breaking the kiss, he slid my pant down. Then my panties. No more walls separated me from his hands. He could see me now. All of me.

  “Touch me Travis,” my eyes were engaged with his. I didn’t know where all of my bravery was coming from. I hadn’t even drunk any alcohol.

  His fingers touched me gently. I was so wet. I wouldn’t last long.

  “Dammit Sawyer, you’re so fucking wet. And smooth.” His breathing was heavier than mine. His words alone were doing the job. He slid what felt like two fingers inside me. Holy shit. I shook my head. I wasn’t going to last much longer. I felt like I could break apart any second. “Baby you’re so tight.” His fingers moved in and out of me slowly.

  He stopped the movement looking at me intensely. “Are you a virgin?”

  “No.” I may have hesitated a bit.

  He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not,” I relented. “I’ve just never been given an orgasm by a guy before.”

  “Never,” he had a look of shock on his face.

  “I mean, I’ve given myself one.”

  “That’s hot.” He admitted.

  I could feel the blush creeping up on my face. Never had I been so open with someone before, but it seemed so easy with him. All of our history together I guess.

  “I am going to make sure that you are always taken care of. I’ll give my baby an orgasm. I’ll have you coming in my hand. And you just wait until I get my tongue on you.” He licked his lips.

  “Touch me now Travis, please.” He lightly touched my aching clit, and that was all it took. His words we so hot that I barely needed him to touch me to give me a release. “I’m coming.” I said so light that I wasn’t sure if he heard me.

  “That’s it baby, come for me.”

  “Oh God,” I shook and I think I might have screamed, but I had never felt anything like that in my life. I was shaking. Was it always like this with everyone?

  It took me a minute to fully function. My body was not used to such mind blowing orgasms. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. “You don’t know what that did to me. That was so hot Saw. I want to be buried so deep inside you. You are mine now. Do you hear me? I don’t want anyone seeing you like this but me.” His words were so deep and hard. They were permanent and a bit scary, but somehow they were exactly what I wanted to hear. When I thought I wanted to go slow, it was because of fear. Now that I knew what it was like to be in that place, that happy place, I didn’t want anything but this; him.

  “I am going inside to get your brother and then I am following you guys home. I don’t want you out of my sight, and I sure as hell don’t want to be here.”

  “Okay.” I buttoned my pants and slid into the driver’s seat. “Travis,” I stopped him.

  “You remember when I said that I wanted to take it slow?”

  “Yeah,” he replied.

  “Please don’t break my heart.” I paused. “Again,” I said lightly.

  “I won’t do that to you again Sawyer. Ever again,” he stressed. “I promise.” I thought that he was about to say I love you, but the words didn’t come. I wasn’t ready for that yet. The “L” word is an effing son-of-a-bitch. I wasn’t ready to say it yet. Something bad would happen. Even if my heart felt that way. I wasn’t saying it. I may never be able too.

  TWENTY

  Travis

  I stood outside of the entrance of the bar, trying to get myself back together. The way her body reacted to mine was un-fucking believable. I loved that girl. And not because she was the first person to straddle me in a vehicle either. Although that was the hottest damn thing, I had ever seen. I think that I’d always known that I loved her, and now that she was back in my life I knew that I couldn’t lose her. I had to tell her everything. She knew about Waylon and me, but she didn’t know the whole truth, and I was scared to death to tell her. What if she freaked out and ran? My mother was psychotic and she put Waylon through some crazy shit. I being the coward that I am, let her get away with it. She ran off and promised that she would get better and leave us alone. But that hadn’t lasted and she was trying to come back. All of the secrets that I tried so hard to hide would surely blow up in my face.

  “Dane man, come on. Your sister is ready to go.” I tugged his shoulder away so that he would see me and not just the chick he was wrapped around on the dance floor.

  “Go ahead, I’m staying here. She can take me home.” He pointed to the girl he was dancing with. She finally looked up at me and I almost choked.

  “Brenna,” She smiled at me with a shit-eating grin.

  “You guys know each other?” Dane slurred, already obliterated.

  “Yeah, what the hell are you doing?” I pulled her close to me.

  She jerked her arm away. “I’m having fun. I’m a big girl Travis.” She glared at me.

  “Fine,” I turned to Dane. “This fucking girl is like my sister. Don’t be yourself. Be good to her. I mean it.” I poked Dane hard in the chest.

  “You know I could say the same thing about you.” His eyes narrowed on mine. He was serious. Drunk or not, he cared about his sister.

  “I get the message. Loud and clear.” I punched his fist and left him standing there on the dance floor with Brenna. I knew that he wouldn’t hurt her physically, but he could be persuasive. And she was supposed to have a boyfriend. All I could do was shake my head. The less I knew, the better off I was.

  I opened the passenger side door and found Sawyer with her head down and it rested against the steering wheel. My stomach tightened. “Is everything okay?” I slid into the seat next to her.

  “It’s eerily perfect. Does that make sense?” She peeked at me through her long lashes. I didn’t respond. “I feel like, for the first time in a long time, I am doing what’s right for me. You know?”

  “Actually, I do.” I reached across the seat of the truck and found her hand. “Dane is staying here. He is with a friend of mine. He’ll be fine. Do you want to go to my place for a while?” The question wasn’t a loaded one, but her eyes grew large as if it were. “I have ice cream.” I smiled big, hoping to tempt her with an offer of food or the grin on my face. Whatever it took to have her a little longer.

  “Is Waylon home?”

  “No he’s at his friend Andy’s for the night.”
I explained.

  “Okay, I’ll follow you there.”

  I gave her a sweet kiss goodbye.

  ###

  Once we made it home, I told her to go find somewhere to sit and relax while I went to work in the kitchen. I fixed one giant bowl of ice cream with two spoons. I walked outside to find her and the two of us sat on the back porch swing and ate every last drop.

  “Could I ask you a question?” I took the bowl and spoons from her and sat them down on the porch.

  “Yeah,” she replied.

  “Do you someday hope to have a family of your own?”

  “Whoa, Lawson. You’re getting deep on me.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You do remember that I said slow, right?”

  I couldn’t help laughing at her. What I was trying to convey to her was that I was a package deal. Waylon would always be in my life and I hoped that didn’t scare her. “I know,” I shrugged, sure of what I would say next, “but the two of us will end up together. I know it. I just don’t know how you really feel about Waylon?” I looked to her for the answers. This was the uncertainty, wasn’t it? Yes, we belonged together. I was sure of that. But did that picture include Waylon for her?

  “That’s what you’re worried about?” She scooted up next to me, and curled herself into my side. “You have no idea how much I adore Waylon. He’s an amazing kid, and I know that he’s your life.” She looked up into my eyes. “It doesn’t bother me. At all.”

  I hugged her even tighter. Once she knew that I’d been fighting with my Mom forever over Waylon, she may change her mind. If I had the money, I’d take her to court today and end this, but we’re barely making it. I didn’t want her worrying about me or Waylon. That would be the last thing that she needed.