I Am Free Read online

  She came to visit us once in all the years I could remember. She drove hundreds of miles, and wound up staying for dinner, and leaving soon after. Dad’s intense glares, and lack of conversation had everything to do with it. He was not gentle with his words, and sugar coated for no one. Since then all I ever heard from her was –Happy Birthday, in a card.

  When I wrote to her back several months ago, I didn’t go into full detail about my situation. I only told her that I was leaving and in desperate need of a place to stay. It would be more of a sanctuary then anything. I told her not to write back, because they would be suspicious. So about a week before my birthday I received a new card. Inside it was money of course, and that little note. It was all I needed. She knew that I had no money, but that I would get a job as soon as I arrived.

  That frightened the hell out of me. I had no job experience outside of farm work, and my aunt lived nowhere near any farms. She wasn’t directly in the city, but close enough. After being home schooled by my mother and graduating when I was only seventeen, I hoped that I would one day be given the opportunity to go to school. College I mean. But I was only kidding myself. I could never afford to go to school, and even if I could what on earth would I study? I knew nothing of the outside world beyond my small town, and from the looks of it –outside the bus window, I was probably in way over my head.

  My bag was tucked safely into the small overhead compartment on the bus, and my shoulder bag lay across my lap. The very few belongings I had were mine, and I wanted to keep them as close to me as possible. The seat next to me was empty which was comforting, but the heat mixed with all those bodies made the smell unpleasant. It was musty and smelled like old man cologne mixed with one of those green tree shaped air fresheners. Old pine trees and musk. That about summed it up.

  Sometime after the bus started to move I curled up against the armrest. I wrapped my white sweater tightly across my body to keep warm. I didn’t want to fall asleep because I was afraid that I would have a terror in front of everyone on the bus. How embarrassing that would be. I tried hard to fight it, but the tiny vibrations of the moving bus were coaxing me into it. The darkness didn’t help either.

  Unfortunately my eyes couldn’t hold out any longer. My heavy eye lids slid closed, and sleep found me too easily.

  Thankfully I hadn’t been dreaming when I woke some hours later. The screeching of the bus brakes whistled around me, and jolted me awake. The lady that sat a couple of seats over was gathering her things, so I jumped up a little too quickly in my seat. Outside the bus windows was a sign that said Denver Colorado. I knew that I was at my stop. Aunt Darcy lived twenty minutes or so from the city of Denver -just outside of Aurora, but this was the closest stop.

  I reached inside the overhead compartment, and grabbed my bag. I straightened my frazzled hair, and patted my long skirt so that the wrinkles weren’t crazy then I tossed my bag over my shoulder and made my way towards the front of the bus.

  It was dark when I’d first got onto the bus. I could barely see the other passengers. Now, as I was exiting the daylight let me see clearly.

  It also made me hope for the darkness again, as everyone stared.

  Of course I was a long way from my home, but there was nothing any different about me then the next person. At least on the outside, or from what people could see. I was just plain old me. Boring farm girl hidden behind a long skirt, laced up shoes, and sweaters. Hadn’t they ever seen a plain Jane before?

  The bright light from the sun nearly made me fall over top of the poor woman in front of me. I had to apologize twelve times to keep her from swinging her purse at my head. Darcy leaped in at just the right time to wrap me in the warmest most inviting hug ever. There was a look on her face telling me not to worry with the old lady.

  “Oh, I’ve missed you.” She said. She held me tight. Almost uncomfortably tight when you’re not used to being hugged.

  “I missed you to.” I smiled and laid my head over on her shoulder. She wrapped an arm around me and led us across the street to her car.

  Aunt Darcy hadn’t changed much at all. She was still very slender with long hair, much like mine. Only darker. She wore makeup and jeans like most of the world, but it wasn’t over the top. She was very pretty for an older woman. No husband, and no children, she lived by herself in a two bedroom house in an urban part of town.

  I hated imposing on her life, but she accepted me with open arms.

  Literally.

  “I’m so happy that you are staying with me. We’re going to have such a great time together.”

  “Me too,” I answered truthfully. “You won’t tell my father right?” I sent a worried glance in her direction from the passenger seat of the car.

  “You have my word. I don’t plan on talking to that man ever, if I can help it.”

  I released a pent up breath and watched the building pass by my window. That was all I needed to know. That for once in my life I could feel safe somewhere.

  “I am making us a big dinner tonight, and then we can watch movies, or do anything you want. You’re eighteen now, so I don’t want you to feel like you have to answer to me for any reason. You are my roommate, not my child. I hope you understand that.” She explained. Her long red fingernails tapped the steering wheel.

  “Yes ma’am. I understand.”

  “None of that ma’am stuff. It makes me feel old.” She smiled.

  I returned the smile, and it felt great.

  “Want to hear something exciting?”

  “Yeah,” I waited for her to answer.

  “I think I may have found you a job.”

  “What, seriously?” I asked excitedly. That frightened/anxious feeling washed over me, and I was instantly curious. “What kind of job?”

  “I figured that you would have a hard time finding something with no experience, so I pulled some strings. My dear friend Trish is the Librarian at the public library in town. She has a couple of college students who work for her, and one person just quit last week. It’s not a fancy job, and it wouldn’t pay much, but it’s yours if you want it.” Her eyebrows peaked as she waited for me to respond.

  The library would be perfect for me. I mean I didn’t know much about the job itself, but I loved to read. Not to mention all the quiet time. It sounded perfect. “I’ll take it. It sounds like the perfect job for me.”

  “Yay,” she bounced in her seat. “I thought so to. I will call her first thing in the morning before I leave for work and let her know. She may want to see you, but it’s only about five blocks from the house. It’s a nice walk.”

  “Perfect.”

  A smile was plastered to my face for the rest of the ride home.

  When we got to the house I was surprised. It wasn’t at all like I’d pictured. I expected the houses to practically be sitting on top of each other, but they weren’t. They had yards and the brick homes were beautiful; all very similar, but older and almost historic like. I loved it.

  She gave me the grand tour of the place. It was two stories, and both bedrooms were up stairs. Each room was very spacious and had its own bathroom. Nothing compared to my bedroom back home. The cream painted walls was soft and inviting. It was a lot to take in all at once, but I couldn’t wait to spend some alone time in there. I sat my bag on the bed, and followed her back to the first floor.

  It was so nice. There was a large kitchen that opened to a dining room, another bathroom, a large living room, and a utility room. There was even a sunroom off the back porch. I could already tell that it would be my favorite place. I could imagine myself out there with my notebook, scribbling away.

  Poetry was my biggest love.

  Several nights I would write to escape, and over the years my writing had just become second nature. I loved it like I loved the color green, and almost as much as I loved fried chicken. That was a whole heck of a lot. I wasn’t exceptionally good at it, but I didn’t mind. No one else would see it besides me anyway.

  “I hope that y
ou’ll make yourself at home, and I don’t ever want you to think that you can’t stay here. You’re welcome here as long as you want. I get pretty lonely sometimes, so it’ll be nice having you around.” Her voice was genuine.

  “Thanks Aunt Darcy.”

  “Of course honey. I’m going to start supper. There are plenty of things in your room that you might need. A new toothbrush, and all your bathroom goods, and I put my old laptop in the top dresser drawer if you want to keep up with the outside world.” She winked.

  It sounded unusual when she said the words, “outside world.” What would I know about anything or anyone outside this house? I was clueless. I would never use her laptop, but it was a nice gesture. It wasn’t as if I were leaving any real friends behind besides the animals. The only friend I had back home was just an acquaintance, a stranger that I had seen only on occasion. Our parents had dinner together maybe once every few months, and she and I would hang out. We rode horses and played with the dogs. She seemed nice, and was truthfully the only person in the world I had ever considered a friend. I didn’t know much about her except her name. Molly Rogers. I wouldn’t even know how to contact her if I could. We had a computer at our house that was used for several things, but talking to friends wasn’t one of them.

  Maybe I was deprived of things in my childhood, but I never felt that way. I was never exposed to very much, so I never really knew what I was missing out on, or if I was missing anything at all. I liked it that way. The simple life suited me just fine.

  Aunt Darcy pulled her apron off the hook hanging next to the pantry door, and I cringed a little at the sight of it. The ruffled edges and light pink color, reminded me of my mother. That woman would have slept in the dreadful thing if she could have. I swear she was constantly cooking or baking. She hardly ever left the kitchen. Seeing Darcy pull it over her head made my stomach knot up. I could barely look at her.

  “I’m going to go and take a shower and clean up, then I’ll come back and help with supper. If you want?” I said trying to rush away quickly.

  “Sounds good.”

  I nodded and turned towards the stairs. I could hear the distant sound of her humming as I climbed the stairs fleetingly.

  After the long bus ride, I was tired and stinky. Well, I couldn’t really smell myself, but if I had to guess I’d say I was.

  I took the stairs two at a time.

  2

  Jackson

  For the second day in a row I was late for basketball camp. The team was hosting a day camp for the local kids, and it was mandatory for us to be there especially the starters. Coach was going to flip his lid. Playing chauffeur to my baby sister was going to cost me the starting spot on the team. The spot I’d worked too damn hard to earn. It was all going down the drain because she couldn’t decide which pair of shoes she wanted to wear to work. I swear I’d love to strangle that girl sometimes.

  Mom and Dad promised me that they’d make sure Kennedy’s car was out of the shop this week. But when they called the mechanic he had mysteriously found five more problems under the hood. Go figure.

  I see now why my older brother Tucker moved out the first chance he got. If I had a job instead of playing basketball then I’d move out too.

  My cell phone dinged with a text message just as I pulled into the parking lot. I didn’t have time for it. I tossed it across the seat and into my gym bag, and rushed to get inside.

  Through the windows of the gym door I could see that Coach had his arms crossed over his chest with a whistle in his mouth. I burst through the door in a hurry. I didn’t even bother explaining. He wouldn’t have listened anyway. I ran over and joined my team along the far wall making sure that I didn’t even make eye contact with him. I didn’t have to see his face to know that he was staring. I could feel his eyes burning holes through the back of my shirt.

  “Dude, where you been? Coach is going to slaughter you.” Jeremy, one of my teammates nudged my arm.

  “I had to give Kennedy a ride to work again.” I bent down and tightened the laces on my shoes.

  “You should have called me man. I would have given her a ride.”

  He was way to enthusiastic when he said ride, so I elbowed him hard in the kneecap.

  “Ouch, damn.”

  “She’s my sister.” I growled, standing back up to face him.

  “And she’s hot.” He jumped back out of arms reach so that my fists wouldn’t reach him. “She’s eighteen man. Get a grip.”

  “Drop it.” My look was serious, and I meant it. He needed to keep his snide comments to himself. It’s not like I was trying to get with his sister. Not that I would. She was weird, and her glasses were as thick as coke bottles. I wouldn’t be caught dead with her. It’d be social suicide.

  It drove me crazy when the guys talked like that about Kennedy. I knew that she was grown, and beautiful, but they didn’t even try to hide their attraction. They threw it up in my face. It infuriated me to the point where I wanted to bash their faces in.

  I shook it off and went to work with the kids. After all, that was why we were there in the first place. I wasn’t going to stand around any longer listening to their bull crap.

  The kids we were hosting at this camp were so little, barely big enough to dribble a ball. I’d been that young when I started playing, and over the years the game had it’s ups and downs. Many times I wanted to just give up and quit, especially in high school. Other things seemed more important at the time, like girls. Even now they were still a distraction. But being on a scholarship meant that I couldn’t afford to be distracted. Most of the guys on the team had more disturbances than they knew what to do with.

  I only had one.

  Holly.

  She was my girlfriend of two years, and she was more than enough for me to handle. At times she was too much.

  In the beginning I got with her because she was hot, and had a promising reputation. It started out as fun. The occasional lay, when I didn’t want to sleep around. We were together a couple of nights a week with no strings attached. Then one day she acted all female-like and demanded that I give her more. Being with me in the bedroom wasn’t enough for her. She was a good piece off ass, a real good piece of ass, so I agreed. I didn’t know what I’d be getting myself into. No one told me either. I get exhausted just thinking about it.

  She was everywhere, and I meant everywhere. It was real hard at first, what with the constant calling, and showing up everywhere I was. Finally after working out all the kinks, we just sort of fell into this comfortable routine. I like comfortable. If she’d just quit bitching so much it’d probably be worth the effort. Fourteen text messages a day was thirteen too many. Especially since I was trying to keep my head on straight. Basketball had to be my first priority.

  My grades had dropped, and my parent’s were constantly on my ass. They were nagging me everyday about this and that. Whether or not I was doing my part to keep my grades from sinking. My scholarship was on the line, so I had to keep my shit together. There was no screwing it up. It wasn’t an option, and for the life of me, I couldn’t make her understand. She was needy and wanting, and she knew just the right buttons to push to keep me running back when I should’ve been more focused.

  After two hours of sweating my ass off with the kids, I just wanted to go home and relax for a little while before I had to pick Kennedy up from work. It was going to be a long night of studying for me.

  I managed to get dressed, say my goodbyes, and walk out of that gym without an hour-long lecture from the coach. He wouldn’t forget though. My guess was that I’d be running laps at our next practice.

  After I tossed my bag into the passenger seat, I reached for my phone.

  Eight messages and four missed calls flashed on the screen. I groaned at the sight of them. Every single one was from Holly.

  “Where are you?” She said when she answered her phone.

  “You know I had basketball camp today. We just got finished.”

  “Oh, well
I tried to call you a couple of times. I was worried.”

  Yeah, right, just a couple of times. I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine. I have to go home and study some before I pick Kennedy up from work.” It was times like these that I was glad I no longer had to live on campus. It helped having parents who gave generously to the college. Besides if anyone asked, there was still a room there with my name on it. Only it was being occupied with one person instead of two.

  “You want me to come hang out with you tonight. I could help you study.” Her voice purred into the phone. The seduction in her voice overflowed. Immediately my pants got a little tighter. She knew exactly how to catch my attention. Like I said before, she knew which buttons to push. It always worked.

  “Yeah, okay. I’ll call you later tonight.”

  “Later baby,” she made a kissing sound into the phone.

  I took a deep breath and tossed my phone back into the seat. Looked like I’d have to spend the rest of the week studying my ass off, instead of the rest of the night. I had plans.

  It would be worth it. That girl knew how to relieve some stress.

  3

  Grace

  Talk about nervous. First day, at my first job, and I was totally freaking out. I wore my favorite blue skirt with a white button up blouse and pulled my hair back away from my face in a long braid. Even though I was comfortable and I felt like I looked nice, it still did nothing for my nerves.

  Aunt Darcy had already left for work, but she said it was safe for me to walk. I trusted her, and I didn’t mind walking at all. She drove me there after supper last night so I knew exactly where it was. The walk seemed easy enough.

  From the way Darcy talked, I would probably just be doing paperwork today, but I was hoping that my new boss would put me right to work. Otherwise, I’d be moping around the house with nothing to do while I waited for Darcy to get home from work.