15 years to life Read online

  “Gosh, she is so sweet. She has been my rock.” Blaine continued to ramble on and on. I tuned her out. My focus was only on the brunette, serving drinks at the other end of the bar. She kept yapping in my ear, and I kept picturing Madeline with no clothes on. God, I was a creep, but I couldn’t help it. It was useless.

  “Are you listening to me?” I felt her nudge my arm.

  “Nope.”

  “Well at least you don’t lie.” She huffed. “I’m going to put in a food order to the cook,” she stomped off.

  After an hour of dull conversation and the best visual a person could have, it was time for us to go. I’d felt like I’d only just gotten there, and I wasn’t ready to leave. Madeline never spoke to us anymore, but she glanced at me a few times. It was probably because she could feel me staring her down. I didn’t try to hide it one bit. She did however wave goodbye as we walked out the door.

  It took me less than a minute after I’d shut my car door before I started drilling Blaine with questions.

  “Hold it big boy.” She threw her hands up. “Yes, she has a boyfriend. She’s twenty-three. She lives in the house next to us on the right, and she’s practically my best friend. Oh, and she knows you’ve been in prison for a long time. She never bothers me with questions about it. It’s just something we choose to leave out of our every day conversations. Got it?”

  I gave her a familiar look. She could read me like a book. Maybe it was a twin thing. “Dammit, she has a boyfriend?”

  “Please tell me that’s not all you heard.”

  “No, but why didn’t you tell me that she lives next door to us.” I grumbled.

  Blaine threw her head back against the seat of the car. “You just met her.” She rolled her eyes. “I guess I should have known you’d fall head over heels for a girl you just freaking laid eyes on.”

  “Duh.” I grinned at her. “Don’t you believe in love at first sight?”

  “Hell no! And if that were the case you’d be in love a hundred times a day. Get a grip on that thing, would ya?” She pointed at the crotch of my pants.

  “Oh I’ll get a grip on it alright, a firm one tonight.”

  “Gross.”

  I laughed a hearty laugh. She was too easy to tease.

  She sped out of the parking lot and towards the house, shaking her head the whole way.

  “You’ve never been in love?” I asked her. She didn’t answer right away, and it made me wonder. Someone must have given her some reason to have to think about it. The thought made me want to punch something or somebody. “Who is he? Tell me now!”

  “Jesus Bubba. This is why I never told you about it to begin with.”

  “Told me about what? Who?” I questioned. “What are you not telling me?”

  “I have a boyfriend, okay? Now drop it.”

  Right! Like that was going to happen. “Why didn’t you tell me? Who is this loser? He’s not good enough for you!”

  She growled at me. “You don’t even know him.”

  “And…”

  “And you need to quit jumping to conclusions.” She yelled back at me.

  “Well when were you going to tell me about him. I’ve been home for weeks. You’ve not said a single word. He’s not shown his face around here.”

  “That was my choice. I didn’t want you picking a fight with him when you don’t even know him.” She argued.

  “I’m going to have to meet him sooner or later. Is this the one that has you thinking you’re in love?” I asked.

  “I’m not thinking. I am in love.”

  I looked at her face as she stared ahead, and she was serious. My sister was in love.

  Crap!

  This meant that I had to actually give the stupid guy a chance. I made a rumbling noise deep inside my chest and focused out the window. I’d just have to put fear into him as soon as she wasn’t looking.

  “So when do I meet him?”

  “When you’re through acting like Goliath and promise to be civil.”

  When did she become so levelheaded? “Fine, but you just said civil, you didn’t say nice.”

  “Goodnight.” She slammed the car door as loud as she could and stomped inside, leaving me feeling guilty. I knew that I shouldn’t have been so hard on her, but it was my job to protect her. It had always been my job, and only my job. I couldn’t stop doing it just because it made her mad. She couldn’t stay mad at me forever.

  I sat there in the car for a while longer contemplating whether I should go and apologize. She wouldn’t go for that. So I settled on sulking in the car until bedtime. My grandma used to call it bullheadedness. I guess some things never change.

  Chapter Eight- Present

  It had been a week. I still had no job, no money, had practically fixed everything inside the house, and still hadn’t met Blaine’s mystery boyfriend. All I kept finding myself doing was just enough to get by, and every other minute was spent loafing, scratching my balls, and eating all of my sister’s food. It wasn’t my plan to be a lazy bastard, but job hunting had gone down hill fast. No one was going to hire me, and with Blaine gone most nights all I did was hide away in my room. It was the same thing that I did in jail, only now I could come and go as I pleased which I rarely did. Too many years I’d spent doing the same routine, and now every day was a struggle trying to break it.

  My head was filled with crazy thoughts of how I may never get a job or amount to anything. Wasn’t that what society wanted from me anyway? No one could stand to look at me, much less give me a job.

  My mind was wavering too much. I had to concentrate. As I was hammering a loose shingle, I spotted her. Actually, she spotted me. It was a good thing I had my knees firmly planted on the roof or else I would have tumbled off as I craned my neck around to get a better glimpse.

  She was beautiful. It was always my instant thought.

  She gave me a quick wave before she walked into her house. This was the first time I’d seen her home during the day. Blaine said she was always at the bar. Several times she’d mentioned that Madeline practically lived there.

  I wiped the sweat from my forehead with the bottom of my shirt and collected my tools.

  “Thirsty?” A voice startled me.

  “Son of a mother.” I felt my foot slip and I held onto the ladder for dear life. My arms were wrapped around the ladder as if I were cuddling the damn thing. You ever seen a two hundred fifty pound man hugging a ladder and scared shitless? “You trying to kill me?” I called down to her. It was only a twelve-foot ladder, but falling to the ground wasn't on my list of things to do today.

  She stood there laughing and holding a tall glass of water.

  I slowly inched my way down, but my heart was still pounding. My blood hadn’t pumped like that in years.

  “Your face,” she tried speaking between laughs. “Crap.” She crossed her legs. “I have to pee.”

  She handed me the glass and took off running inside her house. I don’t know what was funnier, the fact that she told me that she had to pee, or watching her trying to run with her legs crossed. I’d have to guess that it wasn’t her finest moment, but it sure was funny.

  I made my way over to her porch and sat down. I took off my tool belt and placed next to me on the steps as I waited for her to come back out. The sweat dripped down off my forehead, and I drank every last drop of the water from the glass.

  “Thanks for the water, and the near death experience.” I said as she made her way over to me and sat down. There was no hesitation. She sat down next to the ex-convict as if she didn’t care.

  “No, thank you. I needed a good laugh. I nearly peed my pants.”

  “Glad I could be of assistance.” I held out the glass for her to take, but I kept a tight grip making her pull harder.

  She smirked. “You’re welcome.” Her green eyes met mine and I was freaking mesmerized. This girl was irresistible. I wanted her, all of her. Right down to her toes. Yes, there was a part of me that wanted any female within a hundred m
ile radius, but I really wanted this one. She was sweet, and cute, and she had her shit together. She was different, nothing like me.

  She looked away quickly.

  “Blaine told me that you still haven’t found a job.” She said.

  “I haven’t, and it’s not looking good. No one wants to give me a chance.” I huffed. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. If I were them I probably wouldn’t give me a chance either.”

  “Why do say that?”

  Was she serious? “Twelve years in jail pretty much sums it up. I’m a fucking loser.”

  She flinched.

  “My bad.” I said, putting my hands up in front of my chest. “I’m just aggravated about the whole situation, and now I’m talking to you like you’re a god damned shrink.” I stood up. “I’m sorry. I should go.”

  “Wait Brian.” She stood quickly.

  “Yeah.”

  “Come work for me. I’ll give you a job.”

  “Really? You serious?” Wait was she?

  “Yes. I’m dead serious.”

  “Don’t you want to know why I went to prison? You may have second thoughts. Shit,” I scratched my head. “You’ll probably reconsider all together.”

  “I already know, and I’m giving you the job. Be there tomorrow at eight a.m. sharp.”

  How did she already know? Blaine didn’t mention that they went into detail about my incarceration.

  My brain to mouth function quit working. I had nothing. Yep, I had no words. I watched her as she walked back up the stairs, and of course my eyes zoned in on her ass. She really filled out a pair of jeans. They hugged her in all the right places.

  “Don’t be late Brian.” There was sternness in her voice. She hadn’t turned around, but it was like she knew that my eyes were glued to her backside.

  I laughed, but not loud enough for her to hear, and I might have jumped up in the air about ten feet.

  I had a job.

  Chapter Nine- Present

  I got six full hours of sleep, which was more than I had gotten in a long time. A. Long. Time. Sleeping somewhere near Blaine made everything better. I knew that it wouldn’t be a permanent thing, but for now it worked. She’d be snuggled under the blankets with her stuffed elephant while I was above the covers and still sweating my ass off. It was just like when we were kids. At times I still thought of us that way. Maybe it was because it was our last real memories together. Her peacefulness seemed to calm me and lure me to sleep, but not this time. This time I slept because of Madeline. Thanks to her I had a job. Talk about easing someone’s stress.

  Blaine didn’t have to work until the evening shift so I left her snoring in the bed, while I snuck out of her bedroom as quietly as I could.

  I was about to rummage through the cabinets to find something to feed myself, but a note from Blaine was the perfect surprise. It was lying on the counter next to the sink.

  Here is $5.00. Stop at the coffee shop on your way to work. It’s the place with the big yellow sign. You can’t miss it. Good luck today. ~Love Blaine

  I was lucky to have her as my sister, not that I didn’t already know that. She was my happy thought. The one that made me fly like Peter Pan.

  I snatched up the five-dollar bill, and wrote thank you on the note then headed out the door. The cool morning air felt great, and I felt unstoppable. Well not quite unstoppable. I was nervous, but it was nothing that a strong cup of coffee wouldn’t help.

  At six a.m. the sidewalks were clear all the way to town. That was the way I liked it. No one would cast stares at me.

  The walk would be a quick one since it was only blocks away from the house. It would be just minutes if I drove, but that would never happen. I didn’t know how to drive, and I’d probably never learn. Madeline had told me not to be late, so I made sure to leave in plenty of time. Not to mention I needed coffee. When I got to the coffee shop I ordered the tallest, strongest, blackest coffee they had. I didn’t want fuel. I wanted ammunition. This was the first real job of my life, outside of the few things I did when I was locked up. I was actually going to get paid for this though. My next meeting with the parole officer would be a good one. I couldn’t wait to tell him I had a job.

  Sipping my coffee, I tried to open the front door to the bar, but it was locked. The lights were off, and when I peeked inside the window I didn’t see anyone. Madeline’s car wasn’t at her house so I assumed she’d already be at work. The clock with the neon light flashing above the bar read 6:30.

  “Shit.” No wonder no one was there. I thought my stop at the coffee shop had taken more time than that.

  I walked to the other side of the building and found an alleyway that led to the back. Hoping she was back there, I counted the steps that led to the back door entrance.

  Thirty-eight…

  Yes, I counted the steps in my head. It was something I’d done since my first few months in prison. Counting kept me balanced. It was a little piece of jail that I couldn’t escape from. I liked it. It was truly the only way I could make my life feel controlled. I’d heard stories of men like myself not making it on the outside. The main reason was because they couldn’t spend all those years in a controlled environment, and have it ripped out from under them. It’s a constant struggle, a battle for control every single day.

  “Earth to Brian.”

  I was completely lost in thought. You’d think if anyone would catch my attention, that it’d be that girl.

  “Good morning,” I said flashing a big smile.

  She smiled back. “You’re early.”

  “You told me not to be late.”

  “True. I’ll put a cot out here for you next time.”

  “Ha, ha, very funny.”

  I followed her to her car, and grabbed a couple of boxes from the trunk.

  “Thanks. I’m not use to having this kind of help.” She admitted. “At least not one with all those muscles.”

  Whoa! Was she flirting? I tried to gauge her face for some kind of sign, but hell I didn’t even know what I was looking for. It sounded like she was flirting though, but she just kept on moving. She just acted like she hadn’t said anything.

  I followed her through the back door.

  “Just set those boxes there by that shelf, and we’ll go to my office.”

  I did what I was told.

  The door to her office was wide open. If there hadn’t been a desk inside, I would’ve never known it was an office. It was no bigger than a closet, or a jail cell. I had no idea how she breathed in there. There were no windows, and the walls were a stale blue. I could feel my heart pounding inside my chest.

  She started to close the door, and it wasn’t the only thing closing. My throat seemed to want to close too, right along with it.

  “No!” My voice was stern and hard. It probably sounded harsh, but she couldn’t shut that door. “Can we leave it open please?” I added the please so she wouldn’t think I was a complete dick. There was just no way I could sit inside that room and have it feel like it was closing in on me. Without my medication, I knew I couldn’t handle it. Well I didn’t know for sure, but I didn’t want to take the chance.

  She looked at the floor, the ceiling, the walls, anywhere but at my face.

  Had I scared her?

  She must have thought I was nuts. Either that or I just scared the words right out of her. I couldn’t tell. I observed her every move as she took a seat behind the desk. The sweat was starting to bead up on my forehead. For God’s sake, would she say something?

  I remember when Blaine and I were little and we would sneak and watch movies on T.V. when we weren’t supposed to. We couldn’t have been more than eight or nine years old. All those old scary movies would play this freaky music when something bad was about to happen.

  Right then would have been the perfect time for that music to start playing.

  I was about to say something and break the uncomfortable silence when she finally cleared her throat.

  “Listen,” she paus
ed. “About the job…” She trailed off.

  Crap!

  I folded my hands together and hung my head. She wasn’t even going to give me a chance. How does a person screw up so badly with one word? I should’ve kept my mouth shut. If disappointment had a face, it would look just like mine.

  “The pay isn’t great.” She continued.

  Wait, what?

  “It’s a lot of odd hours, and you’ll be doing a little bit of everything. I’ll pay you cash money every Friday. Is that alright?”

  “Absolutely.” Talk about stunned. Boy did I need a class in understanding women. I learned a lot of things while I was locked up, but the only thing I learned about women were the parts of their bodies. This one took the cake. She would’ve made a fine examiner, because she sure had me sweating.

  “I have a few rules.”

  “I can handle rules.” I lived by them most of my life.

  Her blue eyes narrowed like she thought I was teasing. “I don’t like when people are late, but it doesn’t look like you’ll have a problem with that. I also don’t want any drugs in or around my workplace.”

  “No worries there.”

  “You’ll soon learn that my staff is like a large dysfunctional family, but no matter what, we help each other.” She stated.

  “I had that feeling all along. Blaine talks about how much she loves everybody here, especially you.”

  “Blaine is a extraordinary girl. She’s truly my best friend, and she’ll always be family to me.”

  If a man could be speechless, this was the time. She had no idea how good it felt to hear her say that. Suddenly, I wasn’t the only person in the world that loved her. It was so not right that in that exact moment I wanted to tear Madeline’s clothes off, and have my way with her right there on her desk.

  Boner alert!

  It always happened at the most inappropriate times. I tried to cough away the thought, but it didn’t work.

  “You understand the rules?”

  I answered quickly. “Yep.”

  “Good. Let’s get to work then.”