Are you with me? Read online

My breathing was erratic as his hand stayed tightly over my mouth. The want in his eyes was all it took to undo me. He made me feel beautiful. My body shivered and shook, leaving me dripping wet. I came harder than I ever had from his touch. He owned me, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

  “This is all mine, sweet girl. Remember that. I’ve touched it, so it’s mine.”

  He didn’t sugar coat it. He didn’t talk differently to me, or treat me like a child. He was open, honest, and more real than anyone I’d ever known.

  I was in too deep with him, but I couldn’t help myself.

  7

  Josh

  Two days.

  Two damn days since I’d left her house, since I’d even spoken to her.

  Since I touched her.

  It felt like weeks.

  It was pointless to dwell on it, because it didn’t help matters at all. But she hadn’t texted me back, and it made me feel worthless.

  Do you know how shitty it felt to send her countless texts and not get one single reply? Talk about shade. I must’ve sent her at least twenty, and made at least two desperate calls. I’ve said -hi, hello, I miss you, please text me back. I was pathetic.

  And I still got nothing.

  Zilch.

  You’d think that after our couch-capades she’d at least say something. Anything. I would’ve even settled for a big, fat, FU. I was worrying myself sick over it. Asking myself over and over –Did she like it? I mean it seemed like she did at the time.

  Did I take it too far? Was she pissed?

  I’d never know, because she was leaving me hanging.

  I’d enjoyed the hell out of it.

  I could still feel her skin under my fingertips. Nothing would ever compare. The whole night was amazing, aside from the few speed bumps at RACK. But that was out of our control, and it is what led us to have that incredible night together.

  She had to know by now that I wouldn’t give up trying to be with her. Sooner or later, she’d have to cave and write me back.

  Right?

  I growled, and glanced over at Garrett, or Bear as Lee called him. He sounded like one. His snoring echoed and would probably wake the whole dorm. He’d been passed out all day, finally crashing after his two-day bender. The guy could drink like a fish, but after a few days he’d always come back to his bed to sleep it off.

  Just like me, he was being a total slacker. With classes starting back in less than twenty-four hours, I should’ve been more focused. “Should’ve been” were the key words there. Everybody else was rushing around campus trying to get prepared for the new semester, while I was busy blending in with the gray sheets on my bed and watching the final movie in my Ice Age marathon.

  Lee would be disappointed that I didn’t invite her over to watch it with me. Ice Age marathons were our thing, and had been since we were kids. I just didn’t feel up to having company, nor did I feel the need to explain things to her. She’d want all the details and I wasn’t ready to give them up just yet.

  The sun was starting to set outside my dorm room window. I hadn’t stepped foot off my bed in the last twelve-hours, except to take a piss.

  I lifted the collar of my shirt up over my nose and took a big whiff.

  Gah!

  I thought the smell was coming from Garrett’s side of the room. Boy was I wrong. Two days in the bed, wearing the same t-shirt and shorts was giving me a funky smell. Not even the economy size bottle of Febreze that my Mom sent with me to school was going to help. I had to get up off my ass. I needed a shower.

  Ugh, more like a car wash.

  Garrett groaned when I turned on the main light in our room.

  “Get the hell up?” I shoved his foot. He was still wearing his shoes, and lying face down on his bed. He must’ve come home, fell face first onto his bed and never moved.

  He grumbled something into his pillow, but I couldn’t understand him.

  “Dude, I’m hungry.” I told him. My stomach was empty. “Let’s go eat some food.”

  That got his attention. He lifted his head and glanced up at me with blood shot eyes. “Bacon,” he said. A line of drool was dried to his cheek.

  “Fine,” I snickered. “But we both need showers first. I’m sure you smell like you look.”

  “Then I smell fine as hell.”

  He was full of shit. “You must still be drunk.” He laughed into his pillow. “I’ll be out of the shower in a minute,” I tried to tell him, but he was already snoring again.

  There was a little diner about a mile off campus where Lee’s roommate Letty worked. The place never closed, and they served the best breakfast in town. Garrett and I loved the place. We were regulars. The crowd was usually low key, mostly elderly people except after midnight. When the parties were over, the drunken crowd rolled in like clockwork.

  A loud bell rang when we walked through the door of the diner. The place was mostly empty inside, just the way I liked it.

  We made our way to the last booth in the back corner, our usual spot. One of the bulbs in the light fixture above the table didn’t work, so it was the darkest spot in the diner. Perfect for post hangover days, or when you just wanted to go unnoticed. It was exactly what the two of us needed.

  “You still look like shit,” I said to Garrett. The shower helped a little, but he still looked like death on legs.

  He sat back roughly against the bench. “I had a rough night.”

  “Another one?” Didn’t you have enough fun at RACK the other night? Your lip still looks swollen from the brawl. Someone got you good.”

  He ran his fingers across his puffy lip. “That hurt like hell.” He smiled. “Where’d you run off to that night? I didn’t see you after the fight broke out.”

  “We left pretty quickly.”

  “We?” He questioned.

  A waitress interrupted us to take our order, and I swear the two of us ordered everything on the menu. We were starving. You’d think we hadn’t eaten in weeks.

  “We who?” He asked me again.

  “Lee, Letty, and Gwen.”

  “Fox’s sister?”

  “Yep,” I nodded.

  “Whoa.” His eyes grew wide. Well, as wide as they could for someone who was still half lit. “How’d that happen?”

  Normally, I wouldn’t say anything about my personal business to anyone besides Lee. Up until she became serious with Jude, I spoke to her daily about everything that was happening in my life. When I moved to campus and Garrett became my roommate, we turned out to be close, almost like brothers. I trusted him. He knew I had thing for Gwen, he just didn’t know how addicted to her I really was. An addiction was the only way to describe it, because I couldn’t get enough of her.

  “It was weird how it all happened, but Fox had to get Obi out of there, and he asked me to take Gwen home. So, we went back to their place, and the two of us ended up falling asleep on the couch, and that was it.” I wasn’t ready to give him all the details, not when I still couldn’t wrap my head around it all. It seemed so private I guess, and I couldn’t do that to her.

  “You slept on a couch with Gwen Taylor and lived to tell about it. I don’t believe it.”

  “Keep your voice down, would ya?” I kicked his leg under the table, and he slumped over.

  “Ouch! Shit! I’m sorry. I just don’t believe it for a second. No way in hell would Fox Taylor let you anywhere near his sister. He flips out if anyone even looks at her.”

  “I know that.” I whisper yelled. “That’s why it was weird. He trusts me I guess.” I shrugged.

  His head bent down further over the table as he started to laugh. “If he only knew.”

  I picked up a sugar packet, which was the closest thing to me, and chucked it at his head. “Looks like he has nothing to worry about anyway. She hasn’t texted me back since then, so obviously she’s not interested.”

  “That sucks,” he said. “But you should probably consider yourself lucky. Never in a million years would you be able to date her. I to
ld you before that she’s off limits. It isn’t a good idea to poke a bear, Man. Or in this case, a Fox.”

  The truth hurt, like a wrecking ball to the gut. I wanted him to lie to me and tell me to follow my heart and go get the girl. Desperate times, desperate measures and all that metaphorical shit, but no…

  Suddenly I didn’t feel so hungry anymore.

  8

  Gwen

  I finally made it stop.

  The countless text messages and calls were driving me crazy to the point where I just shut my phone off. I wanted to text him back to tell him that I had a great night. I wanted to say that it was the best time I’d had in forever, but it would be stupid of me. I didn’t have the time or the energy for the likes of Josh. I wasn’t feeling good, and I needed to block everything out for a while. Plus, Fox had been up my ass since the moment Josh left my house. My parents were supposed to come home in the next day or so, and Fox was making it perfectly clear that he did not intend to leave my side. It was exhausting. The few minutes I actually had alone, were spent resting. For some reason I was extra tired and feeling drained. Maybe I was coming down with a cold or something.

  My intentions were good. I really did plan to text Josh back last night once I was alone in the bed, but I guess I fell asleep when my head hit the pillow.

  When I wasn’t preparing for classes, I was thinking about him. He was occupying every free thought I had. The way his hands felt on my body. My God, I couldn’t stop thinking about him even if I wanted to.

  All I had to do was send him one simple message to tell him that I had a great time with him, but if I told him how much I loved it then I’d be leading him on, which I couldn’t do. It would screw up everything if I dared to make him a permanent fixture in my life.

  But he deserved something, right? Just a few words to let him know I wasn’t completely ignoring him.

  I slipped into the bathroom and turned on my cell phone to send him a quick text, just something simple, to get him off my brain for a while.

  Me: Hey. Sorry. I’ve been busy. I can’t talk right now. Maybe later.

  Once the message sent, I shut my phone back off, and took a deep breath.

  That wasn’t so hard. I should’ve done it yesterday.

  “Fox!” I yelled as I stepped back into my bedroom. Something was off. I wasn’t feeling like myself. Thankfully, he wasn’t ever too far away.

  It was probably just stress of school starting back up, but I hated feeling bad.

  “Yeah,” he called back as he stepped inside my bedroom.

  “I’m not feeling good.” I told him, as I made my way over to my bed. I slipped off my house shoes, and climbed up on my mattress. “I think I’m going to lay down.”

  “Did you take your medicine?” He asked.

  “I think I took it this morning.”

  “You think, or you did?” He snipped.

  I looked at him over my shoulder as I was settling into bed. “I don’t know, okay. Chill out.”

  “Dammit Bird! You have to take your medicine. You know you’ll feel bad if you don’t take it.”

  “I’ve been busy. You’ve had me running all over the place for hours. It felt like we were in the bookstore for three damn days.” I argued. “I’ll be glad when Mom gets back, so you’ll get off my back.”

  He growled so loud that it nearly rattled the windows.

  I turned over so my back was to him and covered myself up. I was sick of seeing his face.

  “I’m going to get your medicine, and you’re going to take it.” He told me, just before he stomped out of my room.

  “Fine.”

  The medicine was useless to me when I felt bad, so it was pointless. I’d take it anyway so he’d get off my back, but I don’t know why I had to take it in the first place. It wasn’t like I really needed it.

  After taking my medicine and a much-needed nap, I felt a bit better. Not completely like myself, but better.

  I got up, took a shower, and actually blow dried my hair for a change. I think I was just exhausted from running all over the place with Fox.

  When I climbed back into my bed, I turned my phone back on to see if I had any new messages. A part of me knew that there would be a response from Josh, and I was giddy inside when I saw them. I wondered if he felt the same way when I texted him. You know, excited? But I was trying hard not to think that way. Glancing through the messages, I stopped on the last one. He sent four.

  Josh: I’m sorry you’re so busy.

  Josh: If you need a break, you can call me.

  Josh: Or text.

  Josh: I promise I’m not stalking. I just miss your face.

  He missed my face, talking about lifting a girl’s spirits. He always had a way with words.

  You know what?

  I missed him too.

  Why did it have to be so hard? Why did my life have to be so complicated? I hated it. I wanted things to be normal again, the way they used to be. It was surprising that I could even remember back that far.

  Despite my better judgment, I texted him back. I couldn’t help myself. He was so easy to talk to, and he made me smile even when he was being over the top.

  Me: I miss you too.

  Well, so much for not leading him on. That lasted about five minutes. My hormones took over. It was the only excuse I could come up with. I couldn’t stand not having a life, so I was taking a big fat chance. It was probably going to come back and bite me. Luck was never on my side.

  He texted me back almost instantly. I could see the moving dots on my screen.

  Josh: Really?

  Me: Yes really. Don’t you believe me?

  Josh: Just surprised that’s all. I thought I wouldn’t hear back from you until next week. Lol.

  Me: Lol. I deserved that. I can’t talk long, but I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you. And…

  Josh: And???

  I couldn’t believe what I was about to say.

  Oh, but I was still going to say it.

  Me: I’ll be in the library at 8:30 in the morning. Only for about 30 minutes, but I was thinking that you might want to stop by.

  Josh: I’ll be at our table.

  9

  Josh

  I don’t know if I woke up early, or if I just never went to sleep. The night was a blur. I must’ve read her message twenty times, before I drifted off. Every time it still surprised me. I couldn’t believe it. I almost showed the message to Garrett just so I could be sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I kept thinking that if I closed my eyes, the message would just disappear. You know, like blink and you’ll miss it. Time was precious with her. If you got it, you should consider yourself lucky.

  What was happening to me?

  It was so hard to read her signals though. One minute she was ignoring me, and the next minute…

  Hot Damn!

  She was killing me, but I couldn’t picture a better way to go.

  I checked out my reflection one more time in the mirror to be sure I didn’t look like a complete douche. She was always so put together, so beautiful. It wouldn’t matter to me if she were wearing a paper bag and flip-flops. She’d still be the prettiest thing that walked into a room.

  I dialed back the cologne a bit since Lee made such a big deal about it. I didn’t want Gwen to be choking on it, although I think Lee exaggerates sometimes. I don’t want to stink. You know?

  My wallet was still on my desk, so I grabbed it and stuffed in my back pocket. I double-checked to make sure I had everything, and then I headed out the door. This was one meeting I refused to be late for.

  When I arrived at the library, it was mostly empty. At eight o’clock in the morning I wouldn’t expect it to be hopping. Most people were probably still passed out from the day before. That’s where Garrett was, and he was the living, breathing embodiment of the college student life. He was either drunk, or recovering from being drunk. I grew tired of keeping tabs on him. He was going to do what he wanted to do anyway. And like most
of the other students, the library wasn’t some place he’d randomly be hanging out.

  I was thanking the Library Gods for that one.

  Maneuvering through the row of tables, I made my way back to our spot. The one table in the whole library that only had two seats. It felt secluded, plus it was the spot where we first met.

  She wasn’t there yet, so I sat facing towards the entrance so I would know the moment she arrived. I must’ve looked kind of silly sitting there without books or papers. Most people came to library to study or read, not date. If you could even consider what we were doing a date.

  I glared at the digital clock on the wall, just waiting for the minutes to tick away. A loud sigh, earned me a few scowls from neighboring tables, but I was too anxious to care. She was already five minutes late, and I worried that maybe she wouldn’t show. Maybe she couldn’t get away from her brothers.

  But, I was wrong.

  She strolled through the doors with a stack of books in her arms, and I was so excited to see that she was alone. I don’t know what I would’ve done if Fox or Obi had walked in behind her. Played it cool I guess, but it would be a big coincidence to find me in the library so early in the morning.

  Even with a load of books in her arms, she still looked amazing. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she was wearing a pair of black-framed glasses. I didn’t even know she wore glasses. I’d never seen her wearing them. It was sexy though.

  “Let me help you,” I offered, as I took the large stack of books from her arms. “I hope you don’t plan on reading all these in a half hour. If so, we aren’t going to get to talk much,” I whispered.

  Her blue eyes shined, when a grin stretched across her face. I nearly fell over a chair because I couldn’t stop staring at her.